My Dad

Dear All

Last weekend, when I was saying my goodbye to my dad, he told me thanks for helping and for coming. When he is lucid, he can recognise me and talk a little. He looked at me with intelligent and focused eyes, so I know his faculties are alright. Needless to say, I was very moved. I tried to put up a brave front as I stroke his arm and told him, he needn't thank me at all. We are family and we should help each other when in need.

I then thanked him for accompanying me every Sat afternoon for years, changing 2 buses, to get to my cousin's home for piano lessons. Each 1 way journey took 1.5h. He would wait patiently for me for another 1.5h or so to finish my lessons. We would walk from the dusty busstop across some wilderness..a short cut to my cousin's private house in the hot afternoon sun, and then we later walk down to IHM for the sunset Mass. He was at least 60 years old then. For all his toil and sacrifice, I made sure I passed all my piano exams so that his sacrifices do not go to waste.

I thanked him then too for taking care of the kids when they were little and I had to go to work. Without them, I couldn't go to work with such great peace of mind, not to mention a great deal of money saved from child-care centres (although we did provide for the maid). Then, I told him the 3 magic words "I Love You". I teared a little. My dad can't really hear well, he can only hear a little in his right ear. He can't see very well either as his cateracts in both eyes are already yellow. So I don't really know if he could hear or see everything that I've said or seen me teared, but one thing is for sure, I know he felt my love for him in my touching him.

I sayang his head, and he seemed so contented. It's like how our pet, Snowy, looked like when we stroke him on his head. It's like how the children like it when I sayang them. My dad is never one to show emotions and quite strong in character. I used to be the one who can get my dad to smile when I was small. I have also seen his softer side when he was taking care of my 2 kids when they were little. I guess, with his frail body, I just felt moved and stroke his head like what I've seen my mum did at the hospital, and saw how he loved it...so I did the same...and he loved it. I think in old age, every single human touch and care, and presence, is cherished. Actually, if you think about it, what is all the stress and rush in life about? When everything is taken away, what's most important in life is relationship, family and true friends.

Love Theresa

Sermon by Fr Bernard Teo today (16 Jan 2011)

Dear All

This is the 3rd or so time we have attended the Redempterist priest Fr Bernard Teo's sermon at the Sunday Mass. He's a visiting priest from Melbourne who had recently celebrated 31 years as a priest. His sermons are usually long as he's a teacher at the seminary and does lots of writing and teaches on ethical issues effecting society.

Anyway, today's sermon on the letter of St Paul to the Corinthians touches on how we are already holy & saintly people due to our baptism. Baptism is the Holy Spirit transforming us. Then in the same letter of St Paul, he chides these same christians for being sinful. People then, and even now, have not changed....people then take each other to court, take other's wives as their own, the rich indulge in gluttony and get drunk and do not share their food with the poor during the "mass" or fellowship as they call it then. All kinds of wickedness and evilness prevailed amongst the so-called christians then, which is still happening now. So St Paul's letter still applies to us

He touched on how disillussion and angry Catholics are with the disgraceful state of society and even of the priests who sinned against children. He said how many in the flock are falling away because they are disenchanted and disappointed in their priests. He shared with us a letter from a parishioner who has kept in touch with him over the past 25 years. She said that she was shocked with the bad behaviour of her 3 current priests in her parish in USA, but at the same time remember other priests who were explemary in their behaviour. Now that she's much older now, what keeps her in her faith is not the priests, but her believe in the faithfulness of God.

Fr Teo shared that although some priests disappointed him, there are also those who are very generous and charitable. The Church of Christ has gone through even more worse times than now and She still stands the test of time because Christ promises to always be with Her, His bride. Afterall, we don't come to church to worship or see the priests, but to worship our God who promises to be faithful to us always even though we are not always faithful to Him. God's love is bigger than we can ever imagine, and He can love the sinner no matter how bad he is.

So in summary, don't lose faith in your God no matter how bad society has become for God's love in unfathomable.

Love Theresa

Dear All

Our 1st LC sharing question for 2011 held @ A+P's home is:

SHARING QUESTION: Do we regard ourselves as truly active Catholics? How does my "active Catholic life" - e.g. prayer and sacramental life, attending Mass regularly, going for confession...etc - help me in my relationship with my spouse?

Bert & I didn't get to go beyond sharing that we ought to get our little family rosary session going again this Jan, as now the girls come home late & are in the morning school. It's quite a challenge to make a common time to pray as everyone is busy with school/office/house work!

It was nice that we got some time to ourselves today...Bert sent the car for servicing, so we had time to "date" again..just leisurely breakfast, then lunch, then shopping. We never really had "solid" couple time last year, (only when the car is serviced!) so mental note...need more couple time this year!

Looking back at 2010, it's been a "cultural" events year for our family. We never attended any concert or arts/theatre together as a family, and it was a nice and new experience for us. The year-end of kinda of sad for me as my dad had a few episodes. Having spoken to and comforting my mum, I realised how negative my views get after talking to her. Tiffany had commented on it. So instead of being influenced by my mum, I try to make her count her blessings instead of remember the hurts and pains.

I read a handy guide on being happy. Top most on the list is STOP COMPLAINING!

This is the website : https://iknow.com.sg/MembersContent/TipsiKnow/JanuaryIssue/The7SecretsofHappyPeople/tabid/401/Default.aspx

Tips By: Kari Farmer

1) live in the present

2) have strong relationships in their lives

3) know who they are and act the part

4) do not complain

5) doing what makes them happy

6) see the positive side of everything

7) compassionate and understanding

When I think back to my carefree days as a child, I make up my own games to entertain myself. (that is point 5). I make friends with other children not caring if they are rich or poor, can speak English or Chinese, and just have simple fun. I don't worry about tomorrow and just focus on the present (that is point 1).

I know my parents love me unconditionally (that's point 2) as a child. I know I'm just a kid and don't care a hood what I am wearing as long as it's comfortable for me to run in and am decently covered up (that's point 3). I do complain somewhat then but less so than as an adult! (that's point 4). If I can't find other kids to play with, I play make-believe games with the furniture around the house (I guess that's like point 6). I wasn't good at being compassionate I guess as a child, but I learnt it when I saw my parent cry when Kong-Kong and Ah-Poh passed away (that's point 7).

Now, as an adult, I try to keep counting the many numerous blessings God has given me.

I try to catch myself complaining and stop it.

I tried the experiment of living in the now for a day, and not worrying about the future...it feels fantastic! My senses are highlighted to fully appreciate the people and goings-on around me at the present time.

I thank the Lord for great friends like LC couples, the PRE family, the Choir, SCC and the praying parents and the parents of my children's friends, plus true friends from my "working" and NETs days.

I try to see the positives of situations, as most everything has 2-sides of the coin. Why waste time grumbling about the down-side of things. The thing has already happened, so just move on. Failure is the stepping stone to success, that's what Bert always remind us!

I now make time to do things that I enjoy rather than feeling like I'm always "giving" to others. The children know I have my time, and sometimes mummy & daddy time. So I do painting whenever I feel like it, play the piano just for myself, try out new recipes, do crotcheting, do a sport of retail therapy.

Do at least 1 new thing you've never done before this year.

One of my previous boss shared that in his family, each member writes out a thing they want to achieve for that year. So that by the end of the year, they can look back with satisfaction that they have achieved something new. I like the idea and was astounded by it. For our family, it's not so ambituous as his....it's something simple like e.g experiencing a theatre show together as a family (something new to us). Or taking a junk cruise as a family. Or for the kids, getting a bronze award for swimming etc.

Compassion and understand comes from living with others. Being moved by those less fortunate than us and being thankful for what we have. The kids learn such values from emulating us. So we have to be constantly good role models for them. If we fail, they will remind us...:)

Love

Theresa