Farewell to Dad - Day1 & Day2 of Wake

Dear All

My dad passed away on 16 Apr 13 (Tue). Day 1 of the wake was when we met up with the funeral minister. One of the things he said, was if we wanted to have an Eulogy.

When we siblings talked about our dad, it occurred to me that I was very blessed to know our father as a man with many facets, which I believe some of my siblings were not so fortunate enough to know. Perhaps it was because I was the youngest, and therefore, the one that was usually left in the care of my parents while the older ones were full time in school or working. Perhaps it was due to the face my parents took care of my kids when they were young and we were welcomed to live under their roof during that time. I believe, it was both, and lots more.

I suppose it was because he and mum were there for me and my family most of the time, and at important milestones of our lives and our children's lives. I suppose it was also because we were there for mum and dad regularly, in fact, weekly, and during their times of need. It is the little things in life, as well as the big things that happen in life that cements this bond, strengthens it, and nurture this love and communication between parent and child.

When my sibling asked, "Do we really know our dad?" I was bursting with sweet memories of dad. It's just that I don't trust myself to be strong enough to say out my recollections without breaking down and coming across incoherent.

Dad was a man of very few words. So when he speaks, I pay full attention. He is always frugal as he's the sole breadwinner, feeding 6 mouths, including his own. He always expounds me to be frugal, asking me to save 10c of the 20c or 30c daily pocket money he gave me for primary school.

I remember the mandate Saturday bus rides he took with me, carrying my music bag, to attend piano lessons at my cousin's home. We had to change bus to get to his place, the journey lasting 1.5h one way. He'll wait for me during the piano lessons for 1.5 or so hours in the afternoon, afterwhich he will walk with me to the church nearby to attend sunset mass, just the 2 of us. We then return by the same route, this time during the night. He'll most of the time doze off during my piano lessons on the sofa. If this is not called love and sacrifice, what is then?

His favourite piano songs that he'll always ask me to play are La Paloma and Beautiful Blue Danude. He loves ballroom dancing and taught me the waltz dance step, which I never could figure out the routine. I always got lost after the 1st swing!

I remember my mum walking me every morning to the kindergarten near our home, and dad fetching me home by car after kindergarten, in his brown Toyota Corolla.

When he bought the Toyota Corolla, he asked us kids to choose the colour. Everyone had their own favourite colour. In the end, it was mum who made the final decision - Brown, period. It was to be his last car as he had to retire by then, so the car was sold off after my elder brother's NS (it was kept to fetch him to camp as late as possible after the weekend checkout) to boost up his savings for our education.

To save more, he and mum gave up their tai-chi lessons. When we were even smaller, mum gave up the washing lady and kept only the ironing lady. She had to wash clothes on the wooden washboard by hand, and there were 6 of us - 4 kids, herself and dad. Very penny was saved from every possible quarters as dad was not working anymore and 3 of us were still schooling.

He did some sideline - draftsman work. Drawing for the architects. He was an entrepreneur and survivor.

In his younger days, he was a land baliff. That occupational title always gave me a headache in school. Everyone - teacher and classmates - asked, what IS a land baliff? I asked dad. He said he surveys the land and does measurements. He sees if the land can be an agricultural land. This job sounded uninteresting to me, but then, he elaborates further, this job takes him to places like Sarawak and parts of Malaysia. It gets even more interesting. He has met the dayaks and befriended the sea dayaks, those who cut human scalps and hang their victim's hair on their spears or blow darts. He had collected dayak shields, parangs and knives, both the ceremonial ones as well as those actually used to kill humans. Mum was screamish and allowed him to keep only some of the ceremonial ones in the house.

He was paid quite a handsome sum of around $700 - considered a lot of money in those days by the company, and provided with a servant to cook his meals and another to carry his things, when he has to go into unchartered jungles. He said the villagers there were very nice to him. Some asked him for help and paid in kind as they don't have money. So he was given a chicken one day, and eggs at another time. So my dad had an adventurous streak.

My dad helped my mum take care of my 2 kids since they were born. My elder one till she was about Primary 2, and the younger just before she started nursery.

I remembered he joked that the contract is only for 2 years!

When it was bathe time for the grandkids, he'll always be the one holding the cloth napkin to wrap the kids after mum bathed them in the pink baby bath tub. He would dance whilst holding the napkin outside the doorway to entertain the grandkids. He did that till his legs started to become thinner and wobbly, and my mum chided him to be careful and not play the fool. He always made sure the bathroom doors were shut close fully when the grand kids had their bath, and that the fan in the bedroom is totally off before he carried them, bundled tightly in the napkins into the baby cot. He was the one who double checked the bath water's temperature to be right enough before he poured the baby bath into it and mixed it up.

He and mum would spoil the elder grand kid by pushing her in the stroller whenever they go out. They pushed her to kindergarten till she was so embarrassed, she asked my mum to hind the stroller some distance away from the kindergarten, so that she's seen to be walking to school instead of being wheeled in the stroller.

It was dad who gave my elder girl all her English spelling tests. If she doesn't study her 10 words, he never scolds her but just let me know. He and mum brought the 2 grand kids, especially the elder one when they were younger and more mobile to the latest shopping malls by MRT.

When I was small, perhaps in primary school, dad always opened the umbrella for us when it rained. He'll say "Don't come out yet. I'll get the umbrella" and he'll shelter each one of us from the car door to the sheltered building.

When he doesn't have an umbrella and it drizzles, he doesn't allow any drop of rainwater to fall on my head. He'll always have this gentleman's cloth hankerchief which was gigantic and thin, and hold it on top of my head. When I complain the wind is blowing it away, he'll quickly tie noughts at all 4 corners to make it into a simple cloth cap and try to fit it snugly onto my head.

One of our favourite weekend family outings was to Changi beach. Dad would like the floors of the car with newspapers and the seats with this green coloured canvas. He'll also bring along this huge gallon bottle filled with tap water to our over our sandy feet after our swim. He'll make us stick our feet out over the side of the car doorway and he'll pour the water over our feet, use his hands to wipe off the sand he missed and quickly wipe them dry on the towel before we placed our feet in the car. Our feet felt wonderfully clean with no sticky saltwater feeling nor seaweed smell, except for our body in our swimming costume!

When they went marketing in Joo Chiat, dad would line that side of the car window that was facing the sun with newspapers to shield us and give us shade. Mum would pack us our favourite black char kueh and fried yu char kueh first. They'll bring our home metal spoons for us to eat our meal, so that we'll be quiet for a while as mum quickly did her marketing whilst dad kept on eagle eye on us.

When dad still had the car, he'll fetch my brother for piano lessons at another teacher's house after Mass and mum packed my brother and mine favourite vegetable currypuff from the polar cafe opposite Holy Family church. After dropping my brother off for piano lessons, he'll bring me and mum to a nearby playground. I remembered being vain then, wanting to wear those high children's lacy stockings. I had a white and a red pair. I remembered wearing the red one the day I ran and fell on my knees. Mum was buying some snacks from the mobile kiosks for me when I was happily skipping and fell and scraped my knee. It smarted and there was a tear in my stock where the cut on my knee was. Dad took out his handy hankerchief and gingerly tried to wipe as much sand as possible from my wound. He and mum even tried blowing on it to get ride of the tiny grains of sand. I cried, both because of the pain, as well as the tear in my favourite stocking!

In our old house, the bus depot was right outside our porch. Whenever the buses warm up their engines and let them run, dad warns me not to go out. He closed all the windows and door and on the ceiling fan on full blast. I actually quite liked the smell of the unburned fumes, but out of habit, and to please dad (as I thought) I would chant to him "bus chow chow", since he said not to go out and not to smell the chow chow fumes. Little did I know till many years later, when my mum told me, after we had moved house for some years, that my innocent child chant hurt dad right to his heart's core. How could he, as a father, allow his child to inhale poisonous humes and hearing me crying out to him how terrible the fumes smelt! He was a loving and caring dad and grandfather.

My elder girl shared that Kong Kong loves chocolate. I vaguely remember he did. She also finds him to be a very determined person. When he was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, he was very determined to stick to the very strict diet that mum gave him. One of the things he had to give up was his chocolate! And he did for the yet of his health and the love of my mum and us -- to live for us! And he did, to a ripe old age of 96!

Dad was a builder. He built the orchid greenhouse 3 tier stand with mum and for mum. The last thing he build was the garden shed at the back of the garden with mum. It still stands upright and strong till today.

I remember him weeding the carpet grass always every evening with his dayak dagger whenever I return home from school. Sometimes, he'll ask me to help me. I only do so when he asks, as I hate weeding...it's back breaking and very time consuming. A few days later, the weeds spout up again. Soon, the carpet grass was choked out by the weeds and become crab grass. I remember him sweeping the fallen leaves from the garden as well as the cement floor outside the house. He was a gardener.

When mum wanted to change the location of her kitchen, I remember dad taking out the tracing paper and using his wooden and metal rulers to draw and measure out a sketch of the new structure. He would start with pencil lines first, followed by fine-tipped black felt pen. Once he's on a project, he had the habit of not stopping until it's done.

At one stage, dad was often seen gardening in the mid day hot sun, sweating profusely, bare-bodied, in his kaki shorts and large brimmed ratten farmer's hat. Mum would chide him, but he'll just brush her off, joking never mind lah, he's ok till one day, when mum came to give him his cold glass of water, his eyes rolled upwards and he fainted. Mum yelled for help. She somehow managed to lay him on the ratten deck chair in the shade. She asked me to get tiger balm and paper to fan him. As we kids crowded around him, fearing the worse, she asked us to stand away to give him air. She was crying and asking him not to leave her. We all fanned him as fast as we can. Fortunately he recovered, and we never saw him gardening in the mid-day hot sun ever again!

Dad is a handy man. One weekend, he tried to repair the TV. I liked to check on dad now and then when I was young. It so happened I came to check on him and I saw him fall backwards on his backside, and he was stiff. I was shocked and asked him if he was alright and was about to touch him when he called out "Don't touch me! Call mum now!". I ran off to the back where the kitchen was and called mum. She came in, saw everything and understood what was happening all in one glance. She turned off the TV power socket, told me to stand clear and took a wooden stick to flick the wire that dad was still holding in his hand as he told her he just got an electric shock and not to touch him. My mum is a very clever and resourceful lady, full of wisdom. She was the one who told dad to cement most of the garden, as they were getting old and can't do gardening in future. It'll be costly to engage someone to cut the trees, so down the durian, mango and starfruit trees went. Dad used to chop off the branches with my brothers when he was stronger. He was a complementary co-decision maker.

Dad led us in our nightly family rosary prayers. He did so diligently even though his faith was not as strong as my mum's. It was during one of his holy land trips that he saw the Mother Mary in the Sun through holding my mum's hand in prayer. As mum described what she saw, dad was at his usual table at the side porch. But instead of reading his papers, he was listening to her relate to me what they both saw. Dad didn't say anything. When I asked him if what mum said was true and if he saw our Lady in the Sun, he just nodded and smiled. When I asked him how she looked like, he took out the medal hanging on the chain round his neck and showed me -- this was exactly how she looked like. With 12 stars forming a crown around her head. I believe and grew in my Catholic faith because of his simple straight forward witness. If dad said so, he wouldn't lie. So, it has to be the truth. Mum sees alot of things, but dad never shared any, only this, and this only when I asked him. He doesn't volunteer such witnessing to anyone unless he's asked. Dad is my faith builder. He set a good example to me what a good Catholic home and family should be like.

In his old age, when his physical body started to fail him but his mind is still sharp, whenever we do little things for him, like marketing, or bringing mum to see the doctor, which he used to accompany her and she, vice versi for him, he'll thank us. He'll say "thank you". I'll tell him no need to thank us. I am thankful to him and mum for helping us in bringing up our kids since they were born. Without their help, I don't know how we'll ever manage. I am so glad I had the opportunity to tell him that I love him when he was frail but still conscious and gave him a kiss. He just smiled contentedly.

I love you daddy. I will miss you. But in your end time, you were mostly a shadow of yourself. It'll be very selfish of us to hold you on. We can finally say good bye daddy, you can go now, and you went, at peace. You gave us your unconditional and sacrificial love, even to the very end. But the one who will miss you most sorely is mum for you are her world and her saviour.

S.E.A. Aquarium Resort World Sentosa Singapore

Dear All

During the last day of the March school hols, we visited the South East Asia (S.E.A) Aquarium @ RWS. We went there as it's discounted tickets through my hubby's Family Day office function. If you ever want to go to the Aquarium, avoid the school hols, plus, avoid relatively new attractions! It was SO crowded, we saw more people than sea creatures!!

Upon entering the place, we had to walk through some static displays of products imported or exported by sea of various countries, e.g. Malaysia & India (I suppose S.E.A countries). These displays are great photo-taking opportunities. There's also a torrential wind experience, but there's an extra charge and tixs to this which we didn't know about, and wasn't in our tixs. So we missed it, but the girls would have loved this and were a bit disappointed we couldn't try it.
Below: Some of the static display in foyer before queuing to enter Aquarium itself.

The entrance to the Aquarium itself was pretty long and slow moving. The staff were great to provide some seats however, they were away from the queue. I guess it was meant for old folks to rest while the younger ones keep the place in the queue. There were some displays around to kill time, but they were not enough to wait out for our turn to enter the Aquarium.

Below: More static displays along queue to enter Aquarium itself.

For safety reasons, the travellator in the Underwater tunnel was turned off. It was just so crowded! It so happened a staff was in scuba diving suit cleaning the tank, so everyone was mermerised by him and taking photos of him, instead of the fish! So funny!

Below: See the scuba diver in top pix and close up of him in second pix?

There was a stretch of the corridor that hosted a variety of jelly fishes. It was jammed pack with people from tour groups though, but I can imagine how fanscinating it would be to scrutinise the very tiny, on one end of the jelly fish spectrum to the very long and large ones at the other extreme end of it.

Below: The beautiful, graceful but deadly jelly fishes.

There's also a underwater wreckage portion that was under our feet as we walk over it. A small sting ray was clinging onto the glass panel beneath our feet, so we could see the under belly of the ray.

Below: Glass panel beneath our feet. See the underbelly of the the stingray in second pix.

Below: There are several of these huge fish tanks for us to google at :)

The DEFINITE highlight of this place is the oceanarium. It was so gorgeous to just watch the majestic manta rays! There was a particular manta ray that just loves to swim close to the glass panel where the people are, and seems to be showing off. It was a real crowd puller, with mums shouting for their kids to quickly pose while they try to snap shots of them with the ray swimming behind them.

Below: This is one giant Spider crab. This guy was just staring at us, ready for a fight!

The great part of the oceanarium was that it has about 3 levels of viewing, so that as many people as possible could get to see the fish. Of course the best part is to be right at the front row, in front of the tank itself. You can see the nurse sharks mostly dwelling at the bottom of the "seabed" together with the sting ray. You could also view the oceanarium from the sides by going through a passage to another corridor. From the front panel of the oceanarium, the side panels look like windows under water! I personally think it's a great design to maximise the viewing capacity.

Below : The huge oceanarium consisting of a few levels. Second pix are the nurse sharks.

                                        Below: Manta ray

On the way out, I noticed the underwater tunnel had sharks this time. It could have been removed when the scuba diver was cleaning the tank. Anyway, the swimming sharks and sting rays overhead were crowd stoppers. The tunnel was jammed pack again with people trying to take shots of themselves or love ones with the shark or sting ray in the background, thus blocking others from moving forward.

Below: Group of nurse sharks gathering together.

Below: Colourful corals and fish

Below: Sharks in the underwater tunnel where people walk under.

Below: Scary looking gigantic moray eels.

Below: Interesting pink fish. Never seen neon pink ones before :)

Outside the Aquarium but within the building still, before taking the escalator up again, there are some static display, including a very interesting one of a fictitious guy hanging from the ceiling of a hut! It was life-size and  I definitely would be scared to be there alone with the hanging mannequin!

Below:Fictitious character, hanging from the hut.

When we were outside, there is a wonderful candy shop called Candylicious. It's a shop very much like what you can find in Disneyland. It's beautifully decorated from the outside to the inside of the shop, and the staff do not stop you from taking photos of their displays and posing inside their shops. The candies were so many with unusual jelly bean flavours. There's this quaint jelly bean box that has the real deal and the fake one, i.e. the pinkish jelly bean is either peach flavour or

Below: Candylicious shop outside Aquarium and its colourful deco.

 Below: Which is the real deal? We dare you to try!! Haha!

 Below: Attractive display of candy wares! The variety is astonishing!

baff (vomit). It's a dare to try with your friends! Be warned though, the candies are not cheap, but they are real good quality stuff if you have some spare cash to indulge yourself once in a while :)

Love
Theresa

Mother-Daughter Bonding over Macaroon Making on Good Friday

Dear All

On Good Friday, my elder girl and I made our very 1st macaroon.

She googled a few macaroon recipes and we decided on a simple one. Simple = ingredients that are readily available at home or supermarkets, at reasonable or cheaply!! Also, the steps must be easy too.

We came upon this website to make French macaroons with a video on how the macaroons should look like at each stage. We also checked on-line for videos on mistakes to avoid when making macaroons.

My girl love macaroons, but they are very expensive. Hence, I've never really tried one, haha.

So, that's why she wanted to make her own. The ingredients are so much cheaper than $2 per piece of macaroon!!

To save cost, we bought almond flakes instead of ready-made almond powder. A packet of flakes is only $2+/250g compared to $4/100g of  powder.

There are many steps that can go wrong in making macaroons :

1) The almond powder must be extremely fine to get a smooth uncracked macaroon shell
2) The egg whites must be whisked to the right texture. Too wet or over whisked, the shell comes out wrong
3) Separating the egg whites from the yolk is extremely important. Not a single drop of egg yolk is allowed as there's a chemical process going on in combining the whites with the sugar.
4) Temperature setting and time setting is important. Too high and the shells get burned. Too low and too short time, the shells never get cooked
5) If you take too long in getting all your batches baked, the last few batches won't rise, as the egg whites mixture has turned more liquid

Adding more red colouring to egg white & caster sugar batter, after whisking it till foamy & white:

As we started our ingredients from scratch, meaning we had to grind the almond flakes into powder about 3x to get it really fine, it took us whole day to work on this activity. We started around 2pm and ended at almost 9pm when the last batch of macaroon was out of the oven, fillings placed in, and everything packed into the fridge plus the great washing up!!

Sifting the almond powder & icing sugar mixture (below):

The process of doing it was fun as we experimented with the process along the way. My girl got hands-on experience in the kitchen, handling measuring off ingredients on the weighing scale, whisking the buttercream all by herself, piping the macaroon batter, seiving and operating the electric oven!! She also learned how to wash up the utensils without leaving any oily residue!

Sifting the almond powder & icing sugar mixture another time into the egg white batter (below):

(Above 2 pixs): Mix the almond & egg white batter together till it's stiff & not runny

I also discovered an aspect about myself and hers. When I hold my impatience and temper as I allowed her to make a mess of the kitchen, she was more calm and responsive to my instructions. She showed she can be responsible and reliable and I was very pleased with her, I just had to give her a kiss on her cheeks and exclaim, gosh, she's really growing up fast!

OK, even talk and reflection, and let's get down to the recipe and photos!!

French Macaroon Recipe
- 4 egg whites (about 140g)
- 70g caster sugar (or lesser if you want it less sweet)
- 230g (or lesser if you want less sweet) icing sugar
- 120g almond powder (if using flakes, weigh it first and give a bit more before you grind it)
- food colouring (we used red)

Method for Macaroon
1) Preheat oven to 160 degrees C
2) Combine egg whites with caster sugar by whisking continously with hand mixer (or electric if you have one) for roughly 10 minutes to get it stiff enough to not drip off your mixer. Then add colouring and whisk it in. Add in 2 drops at a time. We put in about half teaspoon of colouring. You should make it darker as it gets lighter after being baked.
3) Mix the almond powder and icing sugar well then sift the mixture and discard any almond lumps that are too big to pass through the sieve. (As I started from flakes, I sieved the almond powder first, then placed the lumpy ones back into the grinder and then sieved that batch and any lumpy ones went back into the grinder and seived again till almost all the flakes are used up).

This step 3 is important. The almond powder and icing sugar mixture must be extremely fine to get a good textured macaroon. You don't want to waste all your effort just because you were laxed on this step.

4) Next fold the almond powder/icing sugar mixture into the egg white until the mixture is smooth and viscous, and not runny. Don't overmix otherwise it'll be flat.

Method for Buttercream filling
Ingredients:
- 100g softened butter
- 180g icing sugar

(Below): Whisking the butter & icing sugar into buttercream

(Below 2 pixs):Transfer done almond-egg white batter into zip-log bag, then cut a small hole in a corner to pipe it onto non-stick baking paper.

1) Place butter in bowl and sift icing suger over it then whisk it until creamy and smooth
2) Add 0.75tsp rose essence to mixture and whisk it till its all mixed in
3) Use butter knife to butter 1 shell of macaroon and take another macaroon shell to make it sandwich-like.

(Below) Our 1st macaroon shell, and it's perfect!! Yay! :)

Buttering on the buttercream onto 1 shell, then placing another shell over it (below):

(Above pix): Our final product. The shells are not perfectly sized the same, but the shell are crunchy and simply delicious

It's a cheap parent-child bonding activity where most of the ingredients are most likely what you've already have in your kitchen cabinet. What's best is the final product is something my girl enjoys and will be sharing with her friends! Yummy!

Love
Theresa