The girls and I attended the Epiphany play for children today (3 Jan 09). The MC/hostess did a wonderful (at least in my eyes) explanation of the epiphany to the children. She hid something tiny in the palm of her hand and invited only 4 children to peek. The other kids wanted to know what they saw. She then told everyone and showed them that she had a sheep in her hand. She explaned that that was what epiphany is...the revealing of God in the baby Jesus. I thought the message was clear, but when I checked with my girls especially Tiffy, she didn't seem to understand...and she was named after Epiphany!!
Anyway, I personally felt the message was very moving. She told the children that feelings of sadness, anger, joy and pain are all also felt by Jesus, and that He always understands how they are feeling as He is human too. They can always turn to Jesus as He was born to save us.
The message is something we hear time and time again. For me, the message touched me more so, as I have just started to read "A life of Saint Bernadette Soubirous In her own words". Did you know that the priests and even 1 newly ordained priest not only doubted but condemned St Bernadette as a liar? I was quite saddened as I read the great amount of torment and pressure from bishops and powerful political people who try to make her deny she ever saw the versions of Our Lady. It made me think of myself, my doubts of others' faith stories and testimonies, of the testimonies of the Old and New testaments. In 1 account about how St Bernadette didn't burn her hands as she held the candle by its flame when the apparition appeared to her, and how later on, the grownups tried to place her hand in the flame of a candle and it burned her (and she, who was 13 years old then, wondered how come these adults are crazy to burn her!). It's like the 3 men in the Old testament, who were thrown into the burning furnace because they refused to worship other gods except for Yaweh. They were not burned but eye-witnesses say they saw another man with them in the furnace. That happened before Christ, yet St Bernadette's was only in 1858 (less than 200 years ago!) the same experience where a human in our world enters into the heavenly world. We see the human but we can't experience what that human is experiencing in that heavenly world. At that moment, nothing in the human world can touch or harm them!! It happened in the time of the Old testament, and it is even now happening in our time! I come to marvel how God still is moving amongst us, in our world, in our time still. Reading such inspirating books of our modern day saints helps me strengthen my faith in God. As St Bernadette told a priest (Pere Negre) who insulted her and doubted her testimony and tried to make her confuse and doubt she even saw the Virgin Mary...she said very simply to her friend Antoinette, "He doesn't want to believe. Let's go".
I feel "happy" that I am not the only one who stubbornly doubt my faith. It seems the religious are so very human like us lay people, so doubtful and mean too. I suppose too that lots of us, me inclusive, would have great difficulty going to heaven direct. But at least I'll try to stay close to God and by reading all these "guiding stars" (at the play, the hostess explaned that the Bethelhem Star still shines for us today, leading us to Jesus...and those stars are our parents and priests..for me its also these inspirational books) to lead me daily to God.
Love Theresa
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