LC Sharing Session @ Pat & Ant - 13 Mar 2010

Dear All

Tonight's LC question(s):

Question for Sharing:

1) How does our family celebrate Holy Week?

2) What aspects of Holy Week can we relate to our marriage?

Bert & I just had a quick reflection on the above questions. Although we couldn't make it tonight, we'll try our best to share on the LC question.

1) Our family usually celebrate Holy Week by visiting our Holy Trinity Church after dinner on Maundy Thursday. If we can make it, we'll attend the washing of the feet. If not, we try to make it for at least one of the vigil prayer session...usually there's one at 8pm which is about a nice timeslot for us.

As Felicia is singing at the Lenten vigil, we'll be attending the service that she'll be singing at. On Good Friday, we'll say the stations of the cross at home & abstain from meat. We tried attending the Saturday night Mass cum baptism 2 years ago and almost fainted as we didn't expect it to last so long, like from 7pm till 10+pm and it didn't end yet. We were not forewarned and hadn't had dinner yet, so the girls (then 11 and 7 years old) were fidgety and extremely hungry, so we left and attended the Mass the next day instead....so no more Sat night baptism Mass for us!

On Easter Sunday, when the girls were younger and when the cousins visited my parents every Sunday then, I would hide chocolate easter eggs in my mum's house for the children to find. I would provide them little baskets to keep their eggs in. My mum would give them individual rabbit or egg shaped colourfully wrapped chocolates and we adults get to share those enormous hollow chocolate easter eggs. It was very fun for all, especially the chit chats and laughter then. These few years though, we don't have these. 2 years ago, I still hide the easter eggs for my 2 girls at my mum's place but no one else came. But I recently stopped it as it wasn't so fun anymore as the cousins have grown up and my girls didn't feel like it anymore. But I still get those nice eggs from Cold Storage or sometime NTUC (if the nice ones come in) for the children and my parents to share.

One year at MP, Felicia was invited by a christian friend for Easter. The girl's mum shared with the 2 girls the story of Christ's death and resurrection. She came home with a hardboiled egg that she had painted herself and a colouring sheet on the resurrected Lord. I think it was sweet of the mother to do these for the 2 friends.

2) On question 2, what aspects do we relate Holy Week to our marriage? We think it's the reflection part of Holy Week. It's a time to slow down things (it's a long weekend, right) and reflect on how much God loves us to send his only son to die for us, sinners. It's a time for Bert and I to reflect on how much God loves us and has bless our marriage, to reflect on how much we have journeyed together and grown deeper in love, mainly through the difficult patches in life, especially last year. It's also a time to be more forgiving and tolerant of each other's shortcomings. It's like starting anew...cleaning our slate white again and putting the past behind us. Just like Jesus resurrection from the dead, we see hope that God will enable us to forgive each other and in turn humble ourselves to accept the other's forgiveness.

Love Theresa & Bert

My reflections on Jack's scandals

Dear All

When I read the recent news of the well-known Jack N, and now of his string of scandals, I had a discussion with Bert yesterday.

I think guy's would usually say "It takes 2 hands to clap". That's what Bert said or something to that extend. I beg to differ...I suppose some of the girls may be doing it for fame or for whatever reasons, but I suspect some were just being plain harrassed. It is a sexual AND psychological harassment.

When I see such sexual predators like Jack, a painful and traumatic past experience comes to mind. When I was a fresh grad from NUS and was only 21, working my first job in the government, my sister told about an Indonesian businessman who was in town to open a brand new super bowling complex. She told me it's an opportunity to get the job to run the place. Why not, I thought. It would be challenging and a great opportunity to learn how to run a business. So I called the businessman for an interview. He was all praise and awe that such a young thing like me at an early age of 21 is armed with a degree. I thought...hey, most of my classmates, at least the ladies, are around 21 or 22, so I was puzzled. With such praise, I thought he'll give me the job.

One week later, my sister called me to tell me he's meeting a group of venture capitalists to discuss the bowling alley business and told me where they are meeting. So I quickly popped in after work. I was puzzled again as to why he asked me to stay outside of the meeting room to have the buffet whilst the men talked inside. I insisted that if he wants me for the job, shouldn't I be included in the discussions?

What happened next was scary! It was night already, so since he stayed in the East, he'll give me a lift home. I felt then that I didn't get the job and was wondering why he just didn't say so, so that I can move on. It was in his mercedez that he suddenly grabbed my hand whilst driving on the highway, and proposed we go to his condo for a drink. Alarm bells rang! I felt vunerable and at his mercy! I decided to play broken recorder and a kid....kept saying "I wanna go home". When we reached my mum's place, I purposely invited him to come in for a cup of milo. He asked "Is anyone in?", I say, "Of course, my parents". He instantly said he had to go home. As I quickly slammed his car door and ran in, he called me. My heart thumped with fear. He just wanted to hand me my briefcase which I had forgotten was in his car boot. Luckily he gave it back to me, otherwise I had to call him again to get it back from him. (Mind you, he's already in his 40s or 50s with 3 kids, OK, so he's obviously a predator!).

Needless to say, I never called him again. However, a week or so later, when I was lunching with my colleague (who so happened to also be my NUS schoolmate), and was strolling back to office, a mercedez stopped by us and wound down it's window. The passenger sitting behind the chauffer called me. I didn't hear, but my friend alerted me to it. I couldn't recognise the face at first as the man was wearing sunglasses. When he took it off, I was terrified...it was the same businessman. He offered to give me a ride back to office. Of course I declined it! It was so scary and unsafe to walk on the streets (this was Shenton Way), that I decided to call in packed lunch everyday. I finally decided it best to change to a job at a different location, so that there's no chance of meeting that creep again!

Now, you tell me, do you think those girls had an easy time when the predator is their boss, who holds the axe as to whether they get promoted or fired? Do you think they like it that they have no choice but to meet sexual harassment EVERYDAY?

I was lucky. I really thank God for wisdom to handle the situation in the car and no harm came to me. I was scared as this was the first time such thing has happened to me. I used to think before then, that the world is an ideal place. There's good in everyone. After that incident, I cried and asked my mum why is the world so ugly? I think she told me and there's some people you can trust, but not everyone can be trusted. So I learned that not necessary everyone has good in them for others, but perhaps the good in them is a selfish one, which is for their own children.

Bert and I have discussed that in our lives, there are full of temptations. However, we must always pray to God. We must have a good kind of fear of God in order to keep us faithful to our spouse and to our God. I feel for those girls who spurned Jack's advances and paid for it. However, they are still the winner, as they value and love themselves more than the power or money or whatever they were seeking for in this material world.

The world isn't fair to girls. It is scary that there are predators out there, and I do fear for my girls. We can only protect them so much, but it's the values we implant into their hearts that will help keep them on the straight path.

Love Theresa

Who am I?

Dear All

A few Sundays back, Fr Ignatius Huan, a visiting priest from Malaysia, who is the spiritual director to novices, gave a sermon on knowing who we are.

If you remember the Jackie Chan movie titled "Who am I?", Fr Huan's topic made me bemused as I thought about the movie's title.

This question of who we are is so important. Without knowing our true identity, we are just lost souls trying to find our direction. It's like going to a directory board which tells you "You are here", a red dot, but without any reference point...it's useless inform as you won't know your orientation at all.

Fr was talking about Jesus temptation in the desert. The devil tempted Jesus 3x. The temptation of turning stone into bread was tempting Jesus to show the world who he is by performing a miracle. Jesus already knows who He is and does not need to prove himself to others.

The second temptation to worship the devil and all earthly possession would be given to Jesus. This is the temptation of worldly pleasures. The danger for us, mere mortals, is when we have a taste of success or become rich, we must remember our humble beginning. That is why those rags to riches tycoons are still so humble and eat at hawker centres is because they never forgot their humble beginnings and what it's like to be poor and hungry. It is very difficult for the next generation after the tycoon to be humble like their forefathers.

The 3rd temptation is taunting Jesus to show the world who He really is...The Son of God...by doing something sensational in front of thousands of people, so that many would believe in Him and in God! Wow, doesn't that sound wonderful? Do a mass miracle and so convert many souls? Jesus does not fall for that trick, to use His favoured position to "show-off". He remains true to who He is...HUMBLE, MEEK and GENTLE, and most importantly, following the will of God, His and our father.

So we are challenged to remember who we are....catholics who are humble and remain faithful to our faith, no matter how poor or rich, a failure or successful, we become.

Love Theresa