When I read the recent news of the well-known Jack N, and now of his string of scandals, I had a discussion with Bert yesterday.
I think guy's would usually say "It takes 2 hands to clap". That's what Bert said or something to that extend. I beg to differ...I suppose some of the girls may be doing it for fame or for whatever reasons, but I suspect some were just being plain harrassed. It is a sexual AND psychological harassment.
When I see such sexual predators like Jack, a painful and traumatic past experience comes to mind. When I was a fresh grad from NUS and was only 21, working my first job in the government, my sister told about an Indonesian businessman who was in town to open a brand new super bowling complex. She told me it's an opportunity to get the job to run the place. Why not, I thought. It would be challenging and a great opportunity to learn how to run a business. So I called the businessman for an interview. He was all praise and awe that such a young thing like me at an early age of 21 is armed with a degree. I thought...hey, most of my classmates, at least the ladies, are around 21 or 22, so I was puzzled. With such praise, I thought he'll give me the job.
One week later, my sister called me to tell me he's meeting a group of venture capitalists to discuss the bowling alley business and told me where they are meeting. So I quickly popped in after work. I was puzzled again as to why he asked me to stay outside of the meeting room to have the buffet whilst the men talked inside. I insisted that if he wants me for the job, shouldn't I be included in the discussions?
What happened next was scary! It was night already, so since he stayed in the East, he'll give me a lift home. I felt then that I didn't get the job and was wondering why he just didn't say so, so that I can move on. It was in his mercedez that he suddenly grabbed my hand whilst driving on the highway, and proposed we go to his condo for a drink. Alarm bells rang! I felt vunerable and at his mercy! I decided to play broken recorder and a kid....kept saying "I wanna go home". When we reached my mum's place, I purposely invited him to come in for a cup of milo. He asked "Is anyone in?", I say, "Of course, my parents". He instantly said he had to go home. As I quickly slammed his car door and ran in, he called me. My heart thumped with fear. He just wanted to hand me my briefcase which I had forgotten was in his car boot. Luckily he gave it back to me, otherwise I had to call him again to get it back from him. (Mind you, he's already in his 40s or 50s with 3 kids, OK, so he's obviously a predator!).
Needless to say, I never called him again. However, a week or so later, when I was lunching with my colleague (who so happened to also be my NUS schoolmate), and was strolling back to office, a mercedez stopped by us and wound down it's window. The passenger sitting behind the chauffer called me. I didn't hear, but my friend alerted me to it. I couldn't recognise the face at first as the man was wearing sunglasses. When he took it off, I was terrified...it was the same businessman. He offered to give me a ride back to office. Of course I declined it! It was so scary and unsafe to walk on the streets (this was Shenton Way), that I decided to call in packed lunch everyday. I finally decided it best to change to a job at a different location, so that there's no chance of meeting that creep again!
Now, you tell me, do you think those girls had an easy time when the predator is their boss, who holds the axe as to whether they get promoted or fired? Do you think they like it that they have no choice but to meet sexual harassment EVERYDAY?
I was lucky. I really thank God for wisdom to handle the situation in the car and no harm came to me. I was scared as this was the first time such thing has happened to me. I used to think before then, that the world is an ideal place. There's good in everyone. After that incident, I cried and asked my mum why is the world so ugly? I think she told me and there's some people you can trust, but not everyone can be trusted. So I learned that not necessary everyone has good in them for others, but perhaps the good in them is a selfish one, which is for their own children.
Bert and I have discussed that in our lives, there are full of temptations. However, we must always pray to God. We must have a good kind of fear of God in order to keep us faithful to our spouse and to our God. I feel for those girls who spurned Jack's advances and paid for it. However, they are still the winner, as they value and love themselves more than the power or money or whatever they were seeking for in this material world.
The world isn't fair to girls. It is scary that there are predators out there, and I do fear for my girls. We can only protect them so much, but it's the values we implant into their hearts that will help keep them on the straight path.
Love Theresa
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