Dear All
I had made a recent post on the book I was reading. Well, now I've completed it.
The ingredients of FISH! which I like to share with you to make your family life refocused midst the business of work are:
1) Play
2) Make your day (for others)
3) Be there
4)Choose your attitude
Play means to make whatever activity especially yucky ones fun by thinking of ways to make it fun. A simple example off my head is making cleaning the house fun by doing chores with music you love. Another is making a game of washing the hamster cage with the kids.
Make your day means to think of ways to make the other person loved, happy and cared for. Something simple could be to just give an encouraging note to your kid when the going is tough, to show you care and understand the stress she's going through.
Be there means when you are with that person, make sure you focus on when she is saying. Don't just be physically there, be totally there for that person. An example would be when talking to my mum either in person or on the phone, really give her my listening ear to what she is saying and sometimes not saying directly (haha, if happens sometimes ya?). Sometimes we are thinking of something else whilst so called talking or listening to that person. People sometimes do sense it you are not there. The important point is, you are choosing not to live in the present by having your mind elsewhere, and the present will not come back.
Choose your attitude. I think we married couples who have gone through the marriage preparation course have heard this one: "Love is a DECISION, not a feeling". Attitude is also different from feelings. An example, you may feel tired and down, which are INTERNAL feelings, but you can choose EXTERNALLY to be supportive to your child or spouse when they are sharing with you their experiences at school or work.
The above 4 ingredients can be applied to sensitive situations like getting an aged parent to stay with you, or difficult colleagues at the office. These kind of situations or problems can be brainstormed in advance with your family or spouse.
The ingredients can also be used in any situation. It's basically living your moments to moments fully.
Another example where you can apply the above ingredients is in starting your exercise regime.
PLAY - get nice exercise attire or shoes, or bring along your favourite songs for your exercise. You can choose to exercise to music, or exercise with the TV on. Just think how to make your exercise more fun. It could be learning a new physical activity like dancing, in-line skating, tai-chi etc.
Make your day - treat yourself a little after a week's or even a day of exercise. Perhaps a massage treat...you know what you like ya? Or it could be inspirational quotations put up in your room to keep you at it.
Be there - This is a tacty one....this is being conscious when you overeat. It may be when you are under stress e.g, hurt, frustrated, anxious. When you are eating, slow down and enjoy the meal. If you are eating but thinking of work, you don't know what you are eating and may overeat. Eat without the TV on and silent your phone. Don't eat whilst reading or texting. Just be there. (Also, have a healthier spread of food lah!)
Choose your attitude - Like what NIKE slogan says, "Just do it". You know you need to exercise for the sake of good health so that you can see your kids grow up, so once you know what you have to do, just do it. When you put on your track shoes, you know you'll be exercising. Just take the 1st step and being your project.
The last part of this short book is about communication with your spouse and the decision to be committed to your spousal relationship...exactly what ME has taught us and is about. These ingredients are just to spice up your relationship with the one you have chosen to live your life with till the day you part. Anything in life that is worth living for should take priority and this tool (FISH!) is just a means to helping us live our priority better.
Hope the above sharing helps. BTW, the book can be bought from Popular bookshop.
Love Theresa