Dear All
I heard excerpts of the Pope's address to youths today over Channel 5. He spoke in English and it was a beautiful speech. It addressed the way man are overconsuming our natural resources that it has caused islands to sink and natural disasters. In a gist, he told us how can something like nature, being so beautiful, be created to destroy us. We are reminded that we are only stewards and have to be careful in how we use God-given resources.
There was also an article, a tiny piece, in the Straits Times today. It's about this footballer who finally decided to quit football at the age of 26, as he had discerned that he was called to be a priest. When he was younger, he thought his call was to have a successful career as a footballer. He said something at the end of the article which made me think. "To delay obedience is to be disobedient". That is why he had decided to immediately enter the seminary as God is calling him.
Remember the story of the 2 sons who the father asked them to do certain things, found in the bible? 1 son said he'll do it. The other said no, but in the end, he carried out his father's wishes, whereas the 1st son who said he'll do it, didn't. When I ponder on the footballer's quote, not only not doing something which you have promised is wrong, it's also DELAYING doing it is also wrong. In our Act of Contrition in the mass, it is also wrong on our part to fail to do things that we should have done.
Coming back to the Pope's address, he said something about our forms of entertainment. It is wrong for us choose entertain with violent contents .
I have been vexed as to whether to let the girls watch the 7pm chinese show called "When love blossoms". My main purpose is to expose them to chinese so that they'll improve it. So far, I've seen a slight improvement. It is the content of this episode/series that perplexed me. This week, it was about womanising and VD/aids. I was hopping about like a monkey between the kitchen and the TV to make sure I impart good values to the girls and counteract the possible ill-effects of the programme. I then decided to ban the show. Then Tiffany was very very upset. As she's already stressed with PSLE preparation, PC was out, and what was left was only 6:30 chinese news, 7pm chinese show and 10pm Ghostwhisperer (because I watch it lah). There was a "tug-of-war" and tears from Tiffany. She feels so stressed out and bored with just storybooks to entertain her. (She stressed that she love reading, it's just that she needs other relaxing activities). Hence, we agreed to 2 hours of PC on Friday night and still have the 7pm show, but I told them that they should not follow the values of the show. Tonight's one was good - about the evils of gambling.
I am very afraid that Tiffany would breakdown. She's quite fragile as she cannot be "pushed" too hard. A friend whose child is in Tiff's class was sharing with me that her daughter is almost at the edge. You must remember that their class is only average. My friend's child is her only child, so she's pushes her alot. Now she's so afraid her daughter would lose her marbles and that will be the end of her. Both mother and daughter are now attending counselling/psychiatrists sessions.
Seeing her, I'm thankful that Tiff is managing reasonably well. I was quite glad of yesterday's outburst as now I try to really listen to Tiff's needs rather than imposing my rules on her all the time till she just can't breathe. Being a mum, I am very worried for her. I want the best for her. And I know she can do better. Being a child, she reminded me that I'm seeing things all from an adult's point of view and not from a child's. What is easy for me and is not easy for her. Afterall, she's only a child. That's true.
Having children with different abilities, I realised that studying hard and it's corresponding results are very different with Tiffany and with Felicia. For Felicia, she remembers things fast and easily. So even if she neglects her work, she still manages quite a good pass. Feli is definitely not a gifted or talented child, just a slightly above average child. I can imagine for those parents with really gifted of talented kids, how easily their child would breeze through their studies and other areas of their life. For Bert and me, we only have a glimpse of it through Felicia. We also have to remember not to compare Tiff with Feli as they are both very beautiful in their own rights. What Tiff lacks academically, she more than makes up for it in her nature, and she's always surrounded with very nice and caring/helpful friends who try to speak to her in chinese to help her improve her chinese. Some also call up to remind each other to do their homework or to learn their spelling. True friends are hard to come by and she's very blessed by God to have this magnet to attract such nice friends.
Sorry for such a long post...it's just that it's soo very difficult to bring up children, especially when they are entering their teens. They are part child and part grown-up. Smart and yet not so discerning. Wanting to speak their mind and be independent, and yet we know our choices are better than theirs, so we have to guide them and not break them. I'm also thankful that I'm at home to have this instant communication with them. To quickly counteract the effects of society or the media with the moral standings of the Church. For parents who are working full day, it is very very difficult to have this "real-time" counter-balance to what our kids are watching and absorbing everyday. Parents have to get and keep in touch with their kids, and what they are doing, and what they are interested in. If they are into techno-music, listen with them. If they are into handphone or PC games, be a member with them and play with them. We have to get involved with them and learn their lingo. They will definitely view us as very odd and embarassing, but at least you can guide and correct them along the way.
It's really tough being a parent. It's easier when they are younger!!
Love Theresa
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