An update since my last Sat's blog. Tiffany had "so-so" fun at the school's family day carnival. Felicia had a ball of a time trying out the games at the carnival, winning a cute springy graduate owl, stickers, sticker album and snacks. Somehow, we managed to spend our $60 worth of coupons till the very last dollar. Bert seemed to be amazed at how I did it..remember..I am a thrifty wife (heh, heh)
It was so hot that day, I felt asleep whilst waiting for the girl's to finish cathecism, and Bert's chatting voice became a nice droon to put me into a lullaby. This time, we made sure we didn't leave the radio on! Last week, it drained out the car battery and we had to call the mechanic to come over to replace it! Luckily the petrol station was just diagonally across the church and we were in holy ground!!
Next stop (to the same Sat!!) was Tiffany's fren b/d party. I was really bush and was thinking to call the mum to skip the party. However, the fren's mum met us on Fri and personally reminded us to come over..."bring the whole family" she said. So I couldn't not go to the party. So we arrived early...before the host arrive. It was such a sad party for the birthday girl. She was very stressed out because of PSLE so her mum decided quite last minute to let her have a b/d party. 15 of her classmates were invited and none turned up!! Tiffany was the only one from her school and she's not her in P6 class either. It was supposed to be a party for her as most likely the girls will be going to different secondary schools next year. We were so honoured that she had invited us so we had to give her support. Relative-wise, only 3 families came. We felt so bad for her. However, the home-made food was fantastic! Bert ate so much and we both "tackle" the north indian vegetarian curry and her pudding!! The mother even made her own b/d cake! Yum yum! Tiffany won a prize, but Felicia was so dissappointed she didn't win any. You should have seen her face...trying to put on a brave front! I must lift my hat to her as she asked to be given a second chance. This girl, never say "die" lah!
Yesterday (Tues), whilst taking an afternoon nap with Felicia, she very solemnly told me she had a problem. Since ah mah's death, she had an issue on her belief in God. She told me she always wondered why we pray for ah mah's soul to rest in peace and send in prayer petitions to pray for her soul. She said it didn't make sense as when ah mah died, her soul would already be in heaven. Now she has an issue with whether there is a God.
I shared with her the visions my parents had seen during their pligrimage to Medjgorie and Bert's seeing of God's hand in the creation of nature. It seems, Tiffany takes after Bert in their simplistic child-like belief in God, whereas Felicia takes after me in my more cynical belief. Felicia thanked me for my sharing and say that she now believes in God. I pray for just a little faith, as tiny as a mustard seed, as the bible says. I want to believe 100% all the time. Some days I do, some days I feel afraid that there isn't a God or heaven after all. This is really what Jesus says...some people need to see to believe. Maybe I am the doubting Thomas! But being human, I guess even if God gives me a miracle, I'll soon forget it and ask for something more spectacular!!
Like today for instance. I attended the sacrament of Reconcilation in the morning. As it was raining a little, I decided to leave the girls at home. Furthermore, Tiffany had already done her confession in school 2 Thursdays' ago. The service was simple and somehow it touched me. The simple utterance of faith by the thief to Jesus to remember him in paradise. How much moved and gratified Jesus must have felt that at least this one person believes in Him!!! I realised then (1) and I am not alone in my doubts, at least, sometimes and (2) I am not even as good as the thief!! He had such simple faith. I wish sometimes to be more simplistic in my faith. It's quite scary that Felicia has this so early in life. I was happily going through my childhood without any hood or issue about God till I was much older!
After my confession, I didn't expect to tear. I seldom am moved with confessions. Maybe it's because it is mostly mechanical with ready prepared "list" of sins. Today's was different. Perhaps when I prayed for a little faith, God must have moved me to make a heart-felt confession. The beginning was well-prepared, but the rest came out quite spontaneously. I felt so good after that. The message to me was to persevere and press on in life's struggles by ALWAYS turning to God and PRAYING! This seems to also be a message for Bert's colleague who had recently been diagnosed with stomach cancer and is going for an op next Mon. And his wife is expecting their 2nd baby in July this year! This colleague is also a catholic and a very nice person. I felt so strongly that this message was also for him and told Bert to let him know not to lose hope.
Today's dealings with people like sales people or friends were very good too. It seems this "halo" of a clean-slate makes me a nicer person, so others react nicely towards me too. Like when I purchased some wrapping papers and the man counted less 1 sheet, I told him of the error. After the total was tallied, I bargained for a slight discount. At first he was adamant not to give me. Then surprisingly, when I was willing to let it go, he gave me a discount!! I later related this to the girls and Bert. It seems honesty is truly the best policy! I didn't cheat the guy and in the end I got a bargain!
That's my sharing for today. I still feel great and I hope to keep my slate spotless and clean as long as possible!!
May the good Lord bless you all, my lovely LC couples!!
Love Theresa
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