Personal Reflections on Vacating Jurong House

Dear All

I helped a little in the clearing of Jurong House last week during the Mar hols. We spent the whole of Tuesday (11 Mar 08) just to clear our things. Earlier, on another day, after Santi left, I helped Bert go through some of his mum's personal things. There were her sewing needles and threads, clothes, personal makeup, personal grooming items, etc. I was very sad when I held her things. She's no longer here, but her things are still with us. It feels so hollow. We decided to donate her Legion of Mary 2 and a half feet tall statue and a huge Legion of Mary picture to Holy Trinity Church. They seemed to be happy to receive these items. We believe our mum is happy that these images could now be shared by so many other people.

Being in Jurong house after so many years brings back memories of her when she was mobile and chatty. Her night suppers of curry maggie noodles after her work at Delifrance. Her sharing of her good old days and photos of Bert, Law and her husband and parents/parents-in-law. Her high pitch girl-like voice full of animation. Her love of Jurong house. Her praise of the amenities near-by. Looking back at Bert's photos brings back so many memories, not just of my mum-in-law, but also the earlier years of our married life together and with Tiffany when she was only a toddler. Looking at the carpentry work of my father for our microwave brings back memories of my dad when he was so active and mobile, so different from what he is like now..so frail and vulnerable and I just feel so sorry for him.

Truly, our Jurong house is like a time capsule. A musuem of things at a standstill. As if things and people can be immortalised. Going through our wedding photo album we came across our wedding cards given by friends and colleagues. I even had my 21st birthday cards and some of my presents too! Such sweet memories, but also memories tinged with sadness. We all age and as the saying goes..time and tide wait for no man. Time will heal.

Last night, I caught a documentary about how a heart can be broken. It can be caused when a person is greatly grieved. This causes 1 side (the lower half side) of the heart to be distended such that only the top part of the heart is pumping and the lower part cannot move. This causes the person to have a heart-attack as insufficient blood and hence oxygen can be pumped to the heart and also to other parts of the body. Nothing can be done except to wait for the heart to recover on its own which is within 72hours. However, if the person is not sent to hospital, it can be fatal. I am afraid I may have a broken heart when my parents passes on. I am very close to them, so the emotional bond is very very great. I try not to think too much, as thinking can also lead to grief. At least, I am now aware of such danger, so we have to watch out for it. We have to be strong as I have to still think of Albert and the children still. They need me as much as I need them.

Love Theresa