It was a long time for us since we last met up with you all at the LC gatherings.
This year is has been a busy year for the girls in their preparation of their major exams.
In spite of everyone's busy and tight schedule, we are so glad that 5 couples plus us, the hosts, and some of the LC couples' children could make it at our home. We were pleasantly surprised how God had miraculously enlarged our home to accommodate everyone. We were a bit worried we couldn't accommodate everyone comfortably, especially during the couples' dialogue sessions.
We actually took the questions from the World-Wide Marriage Encounter Singapore dialogue website. It was Bert's brilliant idea! I was scratching my head, and almost emailed Lenz for help on the dialogue sharing question.
For those who couldn't make it, you were sorely missed.
Our Altar, wonderfully taken by Anthony :)
Everyone was so generous in bringing a wide spread of food! (below):
In what ways, do I listen, or not listen to you? HDIFAMA?
As one of our couples pointed out, the question itself is a very simple one, but upon reflection, it is a truly "cheem" one.
It was interesting that we sometimes brush away our spouse when he/or needs a discussion on a matter that affects the whole family, thinking that they can handle it on their own. As our original weekend presenting couple says, that's when a couple need to dialogue the feelings about the specific issue until the spouse who is less affected "tastes" the "grieving" spouse's feelings about the issue or problem.
Haha, my dear husband did not have listening problem, but reading problem, as he shared "In what ways do my spouse listen or not listen to me!". I shall excuse him, as he had just had his second cataract operation, so both eyes can't see near!
As my dear spouse shared, when a couple do not share the same aspirations or feelings, the family cannot move together. A decision cannot be made. It is the couple who makes the important decisions for the family that would affect everyone including the children, so it is important to be open to listen to each other although you do not necessarily agree with the other's point of view.
There were also many nuggets of wisdom we had gleaned at that night's sharing with our "older" couples, who are still very much young at heart! One was to never plan on our children to support us financially in our old-age. The other was, when the children leaves the nest, and when we retire from the working world, it's just the 2 of you - the husband and the wife - left alone together. We have to prepare ourselves for these 2 eventualities in life. The last was managing finances after retirement. The importance of seeing that our finances can at least last us into our twilight years by changing certain aspects of our habits so as to save a bit of money.
These questions are actually in answer to the dialogue question, as couples have to discuss the fears and aspirations at different stages of their lives, and this involves active and lovingly listening with an attitude of openness to the other's ideas and being supportive of one another.
Love
Theresa
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