Being Careful about what we say to our Kids

Dear All

Sometimes when we grouse, we will subconsciously mould our children's perception of life. For instance, when we grouse about our education system and the exam-focused direction of our schools, about the authoritative nature of our govt, the stress at work, not much recreational activities in Singapore etc, our kids would adopt such attitudes as well.

Recently, Tiffy asked me if she could either study in Australia or better still in USA. I told her no. 1stly is the money issue. 2ndly is most likely she'll settle overseas and won't be back here. 17-19 years old is a very impressionable age. I remember then that even in my mid-20s, I didn't fully value life and how my life affects others. I felt then that I was forever young and death didn't terrify me as I lived just for myself then. I was very naive and idealistic then.

I then had to give Tiffany a balanced view of Singapore. I told her that according to a ST forum writer who returned to London for his studies, was surprised that the cab-driver who fetched him from the London airport was all praise for Singapore. He sang praises about the efficiency of our MRT compared to the inefficiency of London's tube. Ours are new and on-time and reliable. London's are old, unsafe and the workers are always on strike, so the public transport is so unreliable.

When the writer lamented that Singapore was full of laws, he said the London cab-driver smiled at him and said that those who have a loved one or themselves been raped, mugged or assaulted before would applaud the stringent laws of a good govt. It's only those who have not been victims that complain about the laws.

So when the writer asked him why after staying a year in Singapore with his daughter who is settled in Singapore, he did not decide to make Singapore his home? He replied he would love too but his wife could not take the humidity. He would have loved to be a taxi-driver in Singapore.

It seems the grass is always greener on the other side.

We tend to complain about the bad things that happen around or to us. But we seldom if ever appreciate what we already have. It's usually when what we have is taken away that we realised what we had been missing out in life. So whatever we say to our spouse or our kids, just be careful to give a balance view...and stop to smell the roses and appreciate whatever "blooms" our situation have to offer.

Love Theresa