Another Sad News in our Family

Dear All

My mum called me at 3pm today (Sun, 17 Feb 08). We had received sad news that my Ah Poh had passed away this morning. She's my mum's godma. If I'm not wrong, I believe she's only a year older than my dad. My mum said Ah Poh's birthday was the 9th day of the Chinese New Year, i.e. Fri - 15 Feb 08. Tiffany asked why was everyone dying just after their birthday? Ah Mah would have been 73 on the 14th Jun this year. She passed away in the end tail of her year of the Pig. My mum says we can't attend the wake which starts today and ends tomorrow. It's too close to Bert's mum's wake. Having to hear such news just opens raw wounds. We still think of Ah Mah.

Ah Poh was a very nice and gentle lady. She speaks only Teochew so it was kinda strange that when she trys to communicate with me when I was little, I'll reply to her questions posed in Teochew, in English. Somehow, we both understand each other. It was very sad that her one and only daughter passed away a year plus ago. She was so close to her daughter Monica, who died of cancer. From then on, she was shuttled between the homes of her 2 sons, so that she'll not feel lonely. Mum is unable to visit her for many years, but they kept in touch often over the phone. The most recent was on the 1st day of CNY. Mum said Ah Poh sounded OK then. It must have been old age. It seemed she had cancerous cells removed some years back but her children did not want to tell her about it, so as not to upset or scare her. She's so kind that I strongly believe that she's in God's hands now, safely in the bosom of the Creator and happy in heaven with her husband and daughter now. I will miss her a lot.

It seems that all of us are aging. It's a fact that once a person is born, that person will die one day. It's just so sad that for us who are still on earth, our loved ones who are gone, are no longer just a phone call away, not can we just drop by to see them anymore. They just seem to disappear permanently from the face of the earth. But their memories live on in us. We don't want to and are afraid to lose our memories of them. When I look back at the photos of my Ah Kong and Ah Poh on my dad's side, I find that my Ah Kong seemed to be different in looks from what I remember of him. Ah Poh seems to be exactly the way I remember her. They died years back when I was around 8 years old. But I remember one grandparent after another passing away. My tears were flowing shamelessly then. It flowed the most for the 1st grandparent - my paternal Ah Poh. It grew lesser for the 2nd, my paternal Ah Kong, and lesser still for the 3rd Ah Kong (my mum's godpa). I guess it must have been reflective of the degree of closeness and perhaps even due to the defence mechanism of hardening my heart to grief once more within a pace of 1 - 2 years of each death. Whenever my parents picked me up from school instead of the school bus, I instinctly knew there was a death, and feared to know who was next. For both my paternal grandparents, it poured heavily on both days of the funeral burial, and I was very glad of the rain as my tears could be disguised as raindrops on my face. I remember feeling as gloomy as the heavens, and felt then that heaven must be mourning with me for them. I guess being a child then, such memories are very deep.

Whenever I see how frail my dad is becoming everyday, I am so afraid whenever I receive a call, expecting the worse. He is now just a shadow of the robust and strong-willed man he used to be. I am very heartened that he still wears the gold medal of the image of Lady of Medjigorie around his neck - the miraculous vision that he and mum saw in the Sun during their 1st pilgrimage to Medjigorie. It gives me faith in God and His promise of eternal life with Him in heaven as I witness that faith in my dad.

May the almightly God, Mother Mary and dear Jesus guide Ah Poh to heaven and may she be eternally happy in heaven!

Love Theresa