Sad Sharings from Tiffany today (25 Feb 08)

Dear All

After a rare birthday party of a classmate of Tiffany's yesterday, Tiffany shared with us some sad news about her classmate and a school mate today. On the way back home after supplementary class on the public bus, her classmate told her that she was very sad. This was because her parents are divorcing the second time. She has to shift house again, and would be renting a 2 room flat. I didn't ask her whether she's with her mum or dad. Bert and I later looked up last year's St Anthony Canossian's Primary School (SACPS) yearbook to see how her classmate looked like...she's such a sweet little girl with a cheerful smile. We felt so sad for her.

Another shocking news was she heard from many school friends and the birthday girl (from yesterday's party) that another girl from a different P6 class had written a note to her teacher saying she wants to commit suicide. That girl did not attend school today. I was very shocked to hear that, especially when Felicia was hearing everything and saying it could be just a rumour. My reaction was to remind them that it is a grave sin to kill oneself. Having children saying things like that and being exposed to the realities of broken marriages must be quickly tempered with our Church's values. That's why, I tell them, it is important to let mummy and daddy have time to talk with each other and some time alone without them demanding mummy's attention all the time. We also looked up the yearbook to see the schoolmate's face. We don't know what's the reason, but that class is of slower learners. Perhaps our society's and education system's branding of children at such a young age puts children down as being lousy or stupid. Such branding is very hurting and very damaging to the children's self-esteem. That's why we parents worry so much about our children's education and exam marks.

Sometimes, when I think just how short life is, and how death puts everyone on a level playing field where everything we possess ends and we can't take it along with us, it makes me feel that all these activities of politics, pettiness, dog-eat-dog world, paper-chase etc, are quite meaningless in itself.

Coz' when the day comes when the one and only one hole that is being punched through your Singapore Identity Card......right on the Lion Head by the ICA officer....
...yes, we won't be there to see it...and probably at that time the only thing that we can bring with us to the next better world...is only our soul ...nothing else matters anymore... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MATTERS ANYMORE...FOREVER...

As Father Timothy of Holy Trinity says, our activities like playing computer games, playing mahjong, etc are just to fill-in time just to keep ourselves busy, to pass the time.

I'm not saying that working and studying are useless. They are important as they can be made into means of glorifying the Lord. An example was when I was working with the printer on a newsletter and he was late in all the deadlines, I had to be tough on him. After the telephone conversation, my colleague remarked that she was surprised that I could be quite hard on the guy as she thought I was such a pious catholic. I told her that though I am a catholic, it doesn't mean I should let the printer be late in his delivery. Anyway, after that remark, I was taken aback as to why she said that. Was it because I had a holy picture of the sacred heart of Jesus in my office, or that she had seem me reading my bible in the morning before my work day started? Whatever the reason, I was then more cautious of my actions so that I do not blemish His name by any "unholy" actions of mine. Also, there is a saying "an idle mind is a devil's workshop" so it is important that man work or do some meaningful activity (like going to school), but in the process, do not get involved in politics or back-stabbing.

Once, Tiffany had such "politics" in P4. Tiffany has the habit of forgetting to write her name on her papers. At a science spelling test, 2 papers did not have names on them. One had 29/30 marks, the other was a fail (can't remember the marks). Only Tiffany and the other girl did not get back their papers, and the other girl claimed the 29/30 marks was hers. Tiffany's classmates knew that this was not possible as Tiffany usually scores quite high in Science. Tiffany showed me the paper, and it was written in super neat handwriting. As she normally writes very untidily, I was doubtful. Tiffany was of course hurt. She showed me proof of her work where her handwriting was very neat. I must say, I was astounded she can write very neatly when she wants to! Anyway, the teacher decided to give them a re-test. The next day, Tiffany came back very happy. She remembered to write her name this time and got full marks. I asked her what did the other girl get, and she say, she didn't bother about it, she was just glad that she now had full marks and that's what counts. Lesson learned from her - never compare yourself to others, just measure your progress with yourself. Second lesson was - she didn't wish bad intentions on the other girl and just let her be. (Quite contrary to most people where we seek revenge). I told her then that knowledge and talent is yours and although others may try to take credit for your work, it doesn't matter, for they can't take away knowledge or talent that you already possess.

In my journeying with my girls, studing woes is just one part of their childhood problems. A great part is also the interactions with their classmates or schoolmates and how they cope and deal with them. I really thank the Lord and my dear Albert that I am allowed this privilege to grow with my girls everyday, and giving them life-skills and lessons on a real-time basis when they arrive "fresh" from school with their latest news. I never had that opportunity when I was working and came home late and the rush of sharing of the moment is long gone and forgotten. In the process, I too am learning and growing with them as they teach me values of forgiveness and tolerance.

Love Theresa n Albert