Felicia Hospitalised - discharged already

Dear All

The last 2 weeks have been trying for us. Felicia fell sick - diarrhoea - rushed to school to pick her up. Then Tiffany fell sick with gastric flu. Felicia fell sick again over last weekend (around time of sad news of the death of Ah Poh - see my earlier blog entry) then got a call again from school to fetch Felicia back from school on Tue because of acute tummy ache. Admitted her to A&E at KKH and was shocked that she had to be admitted as they her pain on a scale of 0 (least pain) to 10 (greatest pain), she felt 9. After some medication at the A&E and clearing her bowels, she still said it was 8. On admission, she said it was 8.5

She was admitted on Tue/Wed (3am) and was discharged today (Thur) 1pm. She still has the pain, but it was around 2 - 5 on the scale when discharged. The docs think it's gases (her tummy was very distended and bloated). It has come down somewhat. I only got 2h of sleep when I reached home on Wed morning, got Tiffany for school and then went off again to see Feli at KKH. Luckily Bert relieved me at 12noon on Wed. Got back home for Tiffany and then fetched her for tuition at 4pm, then at 6pm, back again to see Feli at KKH.

Whenever any of my girls fall sick, I shudder. 1st from the worry for their health, but 2ndly, from the accusations from my mother - "You have taken them back too young". or "When I take care of them, no problem, how come you take, they fall sick?" etc etc. I already have a low self esteem of my capabilities as a stay-at-home-mum (SAHM), and her remarks just makes me wonder if I am really such a lousy mother. I feel I am not allowed to let my girls fall sick. Like Feli getting asthma, my mum says it's our fault --- letting them sleep in air-con, and me not keeping the house free of dust. "How do you take care of them?" she would ask. I feel a greater responsibility on my shoulders as the girls were taken care of by my mum since they were babies, so they are like her "children" too. When they fall sick when we were living with my parents, I don't remember her accusing us or herself of being incapable parents/grandparents. Sometimes, I feel like cutting off the phone call queries as I can't take the accusations. Next is always the question "why did you move out? We didn't chase you out?"

I guess, when we are living with others, there'll always be people problem. Just like in the office, it's seldom the work that gives us problem, its the people.

That is why sometimes I am in awe that God can be so generous and open-hearted to love everyone despite our faults and accusations and hurt we cause him. I try to imitate Christ...to love my mum inspite of her accusations and hurt she unwittingly and unknowingly cause me. I take consolation in the fact that the girls love me dearly and would never trade me being at home with them to me going back to work. As my dear Tiffany told me, she used to worry alot for me and my safe return from work whenever I am late back. And that was when she was only in nursery. God do send little angels to lighten our load and brighten our day.Though sometimes we feel the world seem to be against us, such assurances gives us the strength to press on in life's difficulties and brush aside such remarks. I must be doing something right with the girls for them to love me so.

Love Theresa