Dear allMy mum & 2nd brother, William together with my sis-in-law's father attended the wake besides the immediate family members. A close friend of my sis-in-law, Theresa's, sister, Susie also gave us her support. My mum in law's maid, Santi, and sis-in-law's maid, Siti also attended the wake. It was a small group of family members.
To our pleasant surprise, Fr Peter Paul, a Mynmar priest who was to celebrate the funeral mass, invited a co-celebrant priest and altar boy, who apparently were from Mynmar too. The St Joseph Dying Aid Association were the choir and lectors. The pall-bearers and Parlor-Director were great! They helped lead us in placing flowers in the coffin and the laying of the cloth, bible and cross on the coffin during the funeral mass.
When they took down the fresh flowers from the wreath to place inside the coffin, I and my big mouth asked Albert to help take out the flowers. He broke down and cried. I felt so bad and apologised to him. All of us helped lay the flowers around her body.
The songs they sang during the funeral mass were touching. There were a lot of sobbings around. I had to be strong for Albert as he wept silently. Felicia was next to me, and she was crying too.
We rode in the hired bus to Mandai Crematorium in silence. The 2 priests and altar boy came with us. I understand from Susie that this was a privileged as normally the priests don't follow, and Albert's mum was so blessed that she had not one, but 2 priests celebrating her funeral mass!! She also had a full choir and ready lectors!
The priest said a few prayers before we each filed pass her coffin to place 1 stalk of white flower on top of her closed coffin.
We then witnessed her coffin being closely machined rolled into the furnace. The priest prayed that may perpetual light shine upon her and may she rest in peace, as the coffin rolled towards the furnace. Everyone was lost in their own grief and sorrow. Albert broke down again sobbing uncontrollably. I was also crying and was of no great help to Albert. Felicia was crying too. Tiffany was weeping silently, eyes red with tears. I tried my best not to cry, but the feeling was so final. It was a like a last farewell where you know you'll never able to see that person's face ever again.
We rode back on the bus to Church of Nativity again in silence. Albert and Lawrence were both lost in their own thoughts. I caught sight of Albert looking up at the clouds in the sky. I looked up at them too.
There was a booklet in the parlor for the grieving. The title is "Life is changed, not ended". It show a photo of the butterfly just emerged from its cocoon. Felicia was asking me if we are born again and come back to earth after our death? I told her we are not born again but our body would be changed, and we will not be back on earth, but in heaven. I showed her this book to explain how ah ma was formerly like the caterpillar, the human form. When she is dead, she's like in the cocoon, not moving. After a few days, a butterfly emerges. This is liken to what ah ma would be...a new body which we cannot recognise as the caterpillar previously. But the caterpillar and the butterfly are the same person.
I find consolation when explaining this to Felicia. Sometimes I cannot fathom the bible regarding the transfiguration and how Christ is resurrected. Now I have some enlightenment that this changed body is already happening around us, in nature. Like how can the seed die in order to be changed into a beautiful living plant? I suppose that is what Christ means by having a new body after our death on earth.
I also take consolation in the words of Christ, also taken from this little booklet, regarding my salvation after I die. It's when someone that you know dies that we realise we will also die one day.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be....I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." - John 14:1 - 3, 6
I am very struck by the words I had bolded. It never occured to me before that this is the reason why we are born. Fr Peter mentioned that we were born so that we can KNOW Him, to LOVE Him and to RETURN to Him in heaven. I believe when we were born, Jesus has already prepared a place for us in heaven. When our journey of knowing and loving and trusting in Him is done on earth, He will then RETURN to bring us back to heaven to be with Him forever. It's such a wonderful revelation to me as what is the purpose of life, as it gives me great hope!
As I was preparing dinner this evening, I was playing some reflective hymns which we used during the wake. I cried as I reflected on how pitiful Albert's mum was. I felt so sorry for her. She suffered so much in her life. No husband, no relatives, not much money during the years she was in Singapore. She didn't have many family members nor friends around her in life and in death. She was indeed a lady of sorrows. But at least she had the prayers of 2 priests at her funeral mass, and that, I believe, is the most important thing. I hope I would be as blessed as her at my death. She may be forgotten by many, but God never forgets His children. May perpetual light shine upon her and may her soul rest in peace. Amen.
Love Theresa
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