Thursday, January 31, 2008

My life so far....

During my original weekend when we talk abt 'if tomorrow never comes' and reflecting on what i have gone through,i cried n cried.I felt that i was so selfish n ignorance at that time when i was diagnosed with blokage on 2 main veins that link to the heart.At that time, me and Janice were just married for abt 7mths and she was also abt 7mths through her 1st pregnancy.It didnt occur to me that people were worried abt me or i have caused people to be worried abt me especially Janice.
I take it as if nothing serious happened and still can joke with the doctor when diagnosed.Thank God that the operation was successful and i am well.
When we were doing our sharing on the topic'if tomorrow never comes',when Janice told me that she actually very concerned for me, not to mention that she was pregnant also at that crucial time,she kept praying for me.Straightaway i broke down and ask her for forgiveness.I promised her that i will definitely take good care of myself,so that i can take care of her and our children.
But at times,i do felt certain things are not within my control(i m on lifetime medication),i dont know how long i can provide for them,i always pray to God to take care of me and my family.
Is not that i m afraid of death,i know that it is in HIS plan,i just pray that everythings are well taken care of when i go....i m especially worried for Andrew becos of his condition.I have come to term with God on why He give me special child,i guess He will not take me away until i settled andrew in good hand.
Come to think of it,i actually dont want to get married but surprised surprised!,my plan were definitely not His plan.I am bless with a good wife and 3 wonderful children,I love my wife and children very much.Thank you Lord for the wonderful gift of life,gift of my spouse and my children.

Good nite

joseph

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