Practical Aspects of Life After Death of Loved One

Dear All

After the passing away of my mum-in-law, we have the practical aspects and loose ends to tie. Most immediate for me is the housing of my mum-in-law's maid. As our home at Melville Park is small, I was very hesistant to have her stay with us. However, being the main care-giver, she was the one who helped bathe & feed Albert's mum. Hence, for her to stay on in Jurong House, the memories are too overwhelming for her. On the first day of wake when she returned to Jurong to stay for the night, she told me she was scared. Now it's more of the memories, just like what Albert is feeling.

Now that our minds are more stable, on hindsight we should have been more sensitive to the maid and should not have let her stay on the first night of the wake. Subsequent nights, she stayed with Law's home with his maid.

She has been with me since last Thur (24 Jan 08) for the whole day. She had spent last Mon to Wed and today (Mon) at Jurong during the day to do house-keeping and clear things and cook up any food left in the fridge. It took some time for us to adjust to having an additional person in the house. She has been a helpful extra pair of hands, but as she is not used to household chores (washing lots of pots and plates, hanging lots of clothes, ironing of children's uniforms and cooking for a family, etc), I had to do a lot of supervision. Alas, my pots and plates and untensils are oily. I have to rewash them myself as asking her to do again doesn't make them cleaner the next time. The first time, my clothes did not dry as she hung them all so close to each other I had to be patient and explain to her the logic of science (air ventilation lah). She doesn't know how to cook! Hence I wasn't "freed" but was chief cook and she the assistant.

Her plain porridge was salted and very lumpy and dry! Luckily for her, we are quite unfussy about food, so as long as she doesn't burn my pots or the house, and the food is quite edible, it's fine with us.

Having a maid is both a boon and bane. She's a helpful pair of hands in some things like doing the chores I dislike (read as ironing and spring-cleaning!!) but she tend to be quite stubborn and do things her way. Sounds like the complaints I used to get when my mum was handling our maid when we had one placed with her when she was helping to watch our kids. I didn't bother much then as I was busy at work and left all domestic affairs to my mum. Now that the home is my domain, I am beginning to understand a little how she feels. Luckily, the only diff to me is that it will only last for 2 more days. By this Thur morning, she's be flying back to Jarkarta. In some ways, I'll miss her cheery company and helpfulness. But in some ways, I'm glad to have my private space back. The house may be a little more dirty, but I can live with that! Anyway, I think we should treat the maid nicely as we are grateful to her for taking such good care of Albert's mum. Maids - what shall we do without them!

Love Theresa