Wake Day 2 (Alice Elizabeth Mah)

WAKE DAY 2

Dear all

The St Joseph Dead Aid Association members came at 8pm yesterday (15 Jan 08) to pray for Albert's mum.



The songs chosen were emotionally moving. Albert broke down a little and cried during one of the songs. Upon seeing him so heart-broken, my heart ached for him and grieved with him, and I cried a little too. We are all trying our best to preserve our composure.



On Day 1, my mum and MPC leader friends, Phyllis and Michael came to give us their moral support. Also present were Law's father-in-law & bro-in-law & famiy.



On Day 2, our LC friends, Chloe & Colman, Lenz & Jo, Mike & Lisa, Eric & Cynthia, Joe & Janice, Pat & Ant, Christina & little girls & long-time friends from NETs, Angie & Raymund came to support us. We are very grateful to friends in our hour of need. My sister, Elizabeth & bro-in-law Francis came too. Law's parents-in-law and bro-in-law & friends, and my sis-in-law, Theresa's colleagues came in the afternoon too.

Albert's and Law's companies also sent condolences wreaths. Albert was very touched by NYP's gesture.

Albert shared with me that he's afraid he's weak. I told him it's good to grieve and cry and crying is not a sign of weakness. In the bible, Jesus also wept for Lazarus, and the people knew how much He loved him. If Jesus, as God can weep, what more about us, mere mortal humans.

Let me share a wisdom from St Therese of Lisieux:

"Formerly if any of my family were in trouble, and that I had been unable to succeed in comforting them during their visit, I would go from the parlor heart-broken; but soon Jesus made me understand that I was incapable of giving consolation to a soul. From that day forth I grieved no more when anyone went away sad; I confided to the good God the sorrows of those who were dear to me, feeling certain that He heard me, and at their next visit I used to find that it had indeed been so. Since I have experienced this, I no longer torment myself when involuntarily I give pain; I simply beg of Jesus to make up for what I have done." - Counsels and Reminiscences

I find consolation from St Therese...I find I am incapable to adequately comfort Albert and even my own soul and guilt, but now I have learnt that in order to heal, I should lift up my face to Jesus. He will do all the comforting and healing and mercy and forgiveness.

For me, I have shared with my girls. My greatest regret was not to have visited her enough, especially when she was bed-ridden. Perhaps I should have been more persistant is asking Bert to let us visit her. I am very glad I had insisted and gotten to accompany Albert on Sunday, the day her heart stopped for 35 min. Albert told me he was glad that I was there. To at least see her one last time while she was still alive.

It is funny to think back. Normally, Law would take a family pix with their mum during the special occasions when we visit her at Jurong house. At the last visit on 30 Dea 07, I don't know why I've brought my camera and felt the urge to take photos of her. I asked if it was OK, and Bert said OK. I also took a shot of him with his mum, which he had uploaded on this blog a few entries back on his mum being admitted into NUH. It was strange that Law didn't take a family pix that day as he usually did.

Bert felt that the signs were there that she wanted to go. She did so after my parents' 50th Anniversary and Christmas, at the beginning of the school year when there's not much school yet, and when the current maid's contract was about to end next month. The timing she chose was convenient for everyone. Bert knew she loved them both though she just didn't know how to show it.

He had a busy day yesterday, running back to Jurong house to find suitable photos for the wake, taking down her rosaries and prayer books to cremate with her, and finding some certification that verified her as a catholic for a catholic funeral.

In the night, the staff came to settle with the sons on selection of urn, marble slab, bible quotation, photo for the columbalarium etc. So apologies for him not being with you lovely LC couples that night.

The sons are giving her the best ever urn and niche - eye-level with no sun-light shining on it.

I need to end here for now, as I need to fetch the girls for tuition.

Love Theresa